Fail ... but not Epic.

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. I meant to write yesterday. I even wrote in my head yesterday. I could have probably taken the emails I exchanged with my cousin and posted them and it could have counted as writing because they were some funny stuff. In fact, if they continue tomorrow - they just might be my fodder for Friday depending on how many cocktails lunch, happy hour and my niece's graduation force into my system.

So I failed. But an epic failure? I think not. Is anyone else out there in Internetland is as irritated with me with the overuse of the word epic these days? Webster's defines epic as: a : extending beyond the usual or ordinary especially in size or scope I know I sound like a grouchy old man with his trousers pulled up over his stomach and nose hairs growing down to his top lip when I state this but epic is supposed to used for special occasions, you know - like that big damn flood when Noah built the Ark or a certain movie when Miss Scarlett said "Tomorrow is always another day."

If everything is so epic now what word are we going to use to describe something epic when it really is epic? Huh? Riddle me that one all of you epic freaks? Will the new word be marvelous, majestic, intrepid, breathtaking, colossal, stellar? Nope, nope, nope and so on? That list sounding pretty stupid? Yup. Because epic was one of the best superlatives and now it has been wasted. Wasted because some humdrum daily events have to sound better than they were. Your company softball game was epic? Doubtful. Your boss sleeping with your co-worker in the dugout while his wife and kids are sitting right above the dugout during the company softball game? Epic. You going to a bachelor party? So what? And how many other men have taken part in this ritual? You attending George "I am never getting married" Clooney's bachelor party? Fucking Epic (and you had better bring back photos if you know better. They will get you laid - married and single men!) Your kid dancing in a recital at school? Spare us. Your kid dancing the lead of a Joffrey Ballet Production - epic. Get the idea. Save epic. Please. Please put it back on the shelf and only use it for those special times when it is really needed. Because I know when I die and want my friends to use what's left of my money to have a kick ass party I am pretty sure that term is still going to be around, are you going to be able to have an epic party or will the word be dead and buried before you are?